last night

Last night I ate 1/2 can peaches, 1 1/2 ice cream sandwiches, left-over chili and 1 Ballpark hot dog, 2 lg. cookies and hot and cold drinks. As long as I sit here, it's not too bad, I can keep to tea, soda etc. As soon as I sit in that recliner, then I start to think about what's in the kitchen. As soon as a programme comes on that is "comfortable", like Keeping Up Appearances like last night, then I feel I must settle down with a snack. I also know that once I eat something it's like a chain reaction, I just keep packing things in. Also when I am ready to go to bed and have my last tea, it seems I have to have a handful of Ritz or whatever to go with it. If there is something better around, like cookies or any other kind of pastry I will eat that. My main problem at night is anything I sneak into the house. It's like I feel I owe something to myself for getting thru another day. If I resist buying anything, then at night I wish I did. When I do buy anything, hide it and bring it out later to eat, once it is all gone I feel depressed, knowing here I am out of control again, with only my greedy self to blame. I've pretty well kept to the same weight since last summer. I want the scale to go down. I also want to eat. I know I can't have both. Woe is me