I have made numerous attempts to do something about my weight but nothing has worked. I am over 280lbs and I eventually want lapband surgery but am waiting for medical assistance to come thru so I can have it done. I know my eating is emotional and goes back to my childhood, where I learned that some things were "nice" to eat, ie sweets and pastry ice cream and that kind of thing.
These are the things I now turn to when I am upset, bored, depressed and feel like what's the use. It's like things pop into my head and then I have to go look for food. People have said, don't keep it in the house. Well then I just eat something else. Might not be what I want, but I eat it anyway. After I eat I hate myself for not having any control.
I have tried to cut the junk out of my diet and can do so for a while, then I get depressed and turn to the food again and hate myself. I hate being the size I am. I can't wear anything decent. I see clothes I want to wear. Just fed up I guess. I have tried to join groups online but have dropped out. I am not a "joiner" and when people get too close to me I run away, whether IRL or online. Maybe this is something I have to do by myself.
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