cont'd

Jan 15 2007, 06:33 AM

I am trying to fight my way out of whatever mental trap I am in. One last struggle, as it were. I have been reading that book, "Sugar Shock", and it says your mood, plus some health issues can be improved by cutting out sugar. They mean the white refined stuff, not the naturally occurring kind you find in fruits, etc. I have never tackled this problem before and because I am a sugar addict it will be a very hard adjustment. Maybe I can lose a few lbs. along the way.
In the past, I have always started a diet on a Monday, with all my diet foods bought. This was whether I was starting with a diet group like Weight Watchers, or just struggling on my own. I am still obese. So maybe this time I will try gradually adjusting to a better way of eating. I have fallen into a terrible habit of buying two muffins after I drop the baby off at daycare. One for my breakfast and one for my morning work break. My baby step will be to try and find a better choice than these muffins. I will miss my muffins but this seems an easier place to start, as this habit was just started a couple of months ago. One last struggle, folks. It won't be easy because I love baked goods.
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moiraine Half-ton Man (trigger)

| Category: My Weight Struggles Email this entry | Print this entry Jan 7 2007, 11:27 PM

I have been feeling down and dejected here lately. Maybe it's due to fighting this sinus infection and bronchitis and hardly getting any better. I went to the dr. on Thursday and he put me on a course of prednisone and a stronger antibiotic than I had taken before. I still have a hoarse voice, still cough at night and still have ear and face aches. Anyway, my brother sent me a book, "Sugar Shock!" because he knows I love sweet foods but they don't like me. I haven't gotton too far into this book but so far it is very interesting and maybe I can learn something useful.
Tonight I watched two weight-loss stories that I have seen before, "Katherine's Story" and "Half-ton Man". I've also seen "Jackie's Story." These stories are about morbidly obese people and their fight to lose the weight that is killing them. When I see these programmes I always think, I've got to do something. I could never live like that, not even able to get out of bed without a lot of help. In the case of the half-ton man he couldn't move at all.They had to tear a wall of his house down to get him out for treatment. I can't allow myself to get up to those weights. Surgery helped them eat less but they had to follow a stringent diet. All the surgery does is make your stomach smaller. It doesn't help with emotional eating, which is what I have trouble with.
Diets (or eating plans for life, as they call them now) means a lot of will power for me. It means fighting every day not to eat something that will set my progress back. Sometimes I am up to the fight. More often than not, I lose the fight and eat and then I feel guilty and depressed that I let a piece of pastry rule my life.
But I have to do something! There is a lot of diabetes and heart problems in my background and I am getting no younger. I want to live as long as I can be of any use around here. I just wish I could get enough will power to stay away from my "trigger" foods for long enough to make a difference. I'm just talking myself around and around in circles.
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moiraine New Year's Means I Have To Diet

| Category: My Weight Struggles Email this entry | Print this entry Dec 31 2006, 02:08 PM

I think I finally found out how to do Categories. Coop wrote me, I made it so far, and now I figured out the rest. You see, I want to write about weight loss but didn't want to trigger other people. I thought another blog was necessary but this category thingy is great! All your posts in one place! I really need to do something..I haven't weighed myself here lately, but the last time I was almost 260 lbs. I am wearing really giant bras, 48 DDD's. Never mind people telling me bigger is better. They are just a big roll laying on the bigger roll, which is my stomach. I feel like the Michelin Man. My backside looks like the broad side of a barn. This is as bad as I have ever been. I am not asking for impossibilities. I would be happy just to get under 200lbs. A little more weight gone would be the icing on the cake, that's all. I think I'll stop here and check, just to see if I did this right. I hope so. If I do this the way I want to, this will be a journal of how I feel, the good and the bad; any eating plan I find that I can possibly lose weight by, and some wishing about what I would look like if I REALLY tried. I've gotta do something, folks. I am heart-attack, stroke and diabetes material now
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